figs_sg1_rec (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
figs_sg1_rec) wrote2012-02-09 02:41 pm
figs_sg1_rec) wrote2012-02-09 02:41 pm
This is What It's Like, by Magistrate (PG-13)
Rec Category: Cassie
Categories: Cassie, Daniel, Teal'c, ep related, angst, drama, character study
Warnings: reference to Heroes
Author on LJ:magibrain
Author's Website: Magistrate at AO3
Link: This is What It's Like
Why This Must Be Read: Oh, this fic has such power. Cassie in the wake of Heroes, reluctant to confront Daniel. The nature of anger, and forgiveness, and the occasional need to walk away. Choices. Memory. Taking what you have and carrying it to the future...
All this, plus good cheesecake. Read slowly, and savor.
She doesn't want to talk to Daniel. She's burning up with anger and blame and she needs to be, and she knows there's no way she'll be able to hold onto it if she's faced with those bespectacled, apologetic eyes, the apology she's sure is coming.
He's been calling, and she hasn't answered.
When she thinks of Sam she thinks of her crouched over Jack's body, screaming for a medic – and Cassie can't think about how close she came to losing Uncle Jack too or she'll start shaking or crying again. Cassie needs someone who also feels this way, just as much as she needs someone to blame.
But when she thinks of Daniel–
When she thinks of Daniel–
When she thinks of Daniel she imagines him taping that soldier, not looking out, not seeing the Jaffa coming toward them with his weapon raised.
And she knows, when she thinks about it, that it wasn't his fault, but she needs someone to blame with the same intensity that she needed to believe it wasn't true, at first. Someone with a face, someone who wasn't killed in the back-and-forth fire of the battlefield, someone who can make her anger a concrete and not an abstract thing. She can forgive him later.
She can make herself believe there's always a "later".
Categories: Cassie, Daniel, Teal'c, ep related, angst, drama, character study
Warnings: reference to Heroes
Author on LJ:
magibrainAuthor's Website: Magistrate at AO3
Link: This is What It's Like
Why This Must Be Read: Oh, this fic has such power. Cassie in the wake of Heroes, reluctant to confront Daniel. The nature of anger, and forgiveness, and the occasional need to walk away. Choices. Memory. Taking what you have and carrying it to the future...
All this, plus good cheesecake. Read slowly, and savor.
She doesn't want to talk to Daniel. She's burning up with anger and blame and she needs to be, and she knows there's no way she'll be able to hold onto it if she's faced with those bespectacled, apologetic eyes, the apology she's sure is coming.
He's been calling, and she hasn't answered.
When she thinks of Sam she thinks of her crouched over Jack's body, screaming for a medic – and Cassie can't think about how close she came to losing Uncle Jack too or she'll start shaking or crying again. Cassie needs someone who also feels this way, just as much as she needs someone to blame.
But when she thinks of Daniel–
When she thinks of Daniel–
When she thinks of Daniel she imagines him taping that soldier, not looking out, not seeing the Jaffa coming toward them with his weapon raised.
And she knows, when she thinks about it, that it wasn't his fault, but she needs someone to blame with the same intensity that she needed to believe it wasn't true, at first. Someone with a face, someone who wasn't killed in the back-and-forth fire of the battlefield, someone who can make her anger a concrete and not an abstract thing. She can forgive him later.
She can make herself believe there's always a "later".