Yet Another SG-1 Adventure, by Minnow (PG)

[figs_sg1_rec]

Rec Category: Humor
Pairing: none
Category: humor, gen, team, sg-1, Jack O'Neill, Vala
Warning: zombies, and brains
Author on LJ: minnow1212
Author's Website: unknown
Link:  Yet Another SG-1 Adventure

Why This Must Be Read:  It's very rare for me to actually like a S9 fic, much less rec one, so rest assured that this one is very highly recommended.

After all, it's got all of SG-1. And Jack O'Neill, in highly engaging Jack POV mode. And Vala, who I usually don't like very much, acting in character for a change - that is, deliciously shameless. And Dr. Lee, billing and cooing over buttons on a device he doesn't understand.

Oh, yes. And zombies.

While I personally don't understand the apparent charms of zombie!fic that so many others enjoy, this story had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Definitely not work-safe, unless your screen is splutter-proof!

General Jack O'Neill is summoned by General Landry to come to the SGC and help deal with the latest crisis - SG-1 has been turned into zombies. The really funny thing is that despite being zombified, all the members of SG-1 remain decidedly in character. In fact, everyone is in character, which is what makes the difference between poor humor and good humor.

Mitchell, for example, is the enthusiastic fanboy I so enjoyed in the first episodes of the season. Banter between the various characters sounds just right. And when Jack and his Ancient gene makes a side trip to the Ori galaxy and meets up with Vala, she tries to offer her services in return for Daniel's assignment as her cabana boy.

This fic is a real treasure, from Jack's sadly all-too-standard hand gestures to Teal'c's arguments regarding tretonin to the satisfaction of the epilogue, when Jack joins SG-1 on a nostalgic mission through the Gate and ends up "grinning like a fool" while he dashes for safety from - oh, just read it and find out.

And don't forget the zombies!

From the observation room, they seemed normal enough, maybe a little gray in the face. Carter was hunched over a laptop, typing furiously (if, upon closer observation, a little clumsily), surrounded by books. Occasionally she paused to raise a spoonful from the bowl by her left hand. At a distance, its contents could pass for noodles. Mitchell and Teal’c were talking. Mitchell was saying things like, "The Priors have reversed other irreversible things, so we know their devices can do it, and in the meantime, it’s kind of an adventure!"

Teal’c was saying things like, "Yes, indeed, I am sure all will be well," and "we will exact an appropriate vengeance upon the Ori for this" and "I will consider it a pleasure to crack open their skulls and eat their brains."

Okay, that last one was a bit out of the normal way. Jack winced.

Daniel was sitting by himself in the corner, head buried in his arms. "I thought you said he was chattering away?" Jack inquired politely.

Landry coughed into his fist. "He was. He was, uh, talking quite a bit, in fact."

Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Unfortunately, as Carolyn explained it, the connective tissue between their body parts. Well."

When Landry stopped, Jack made the mental translation. "His tongue fell out?"

"It did regenerate. But he hasn’t seemed as inclined to talk since."

"Ah," Jack said. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Below, Carter daintily slurped the last of the brains out of the bowl. "Shall we go in?"

***

They were all very happy to see Jack, which was nice. He did have to keep resisting the urge to smooth his hair down for some reason. He figured out eventually that it was because their eyes had a tendency to drift upward to his forehead before they yanked their gazes back down and gave him sheepish smiles.

After he’d teased Daniel out of his sulks by dint of mocking him ("Something seems different about you Daniel. New cologne?" "Oh, bite me, Jack."), Carter told him what they knew of the device, which they’d managed to steal from the Prior before fleeing back home and which they were now trying to engineer so it would reverse the effects, yadda yadda. Her eyes were still bright and alert. The men’s eyes were sort of glazed over, but Jack didn’t think it was because they were temporarily zombified; his eyes were glazing over too. When Carter finished, Jack nodded firmly and said, "Great. Keep up the good work. When you do you think you'll be--" It was probably a little sad that he had a standardized vague hand gesture that meant "back to normal."

Carter talked some more. It was a speech full of eventualities and caveats and if-then statements. After a while, Jack turned to Daniel and said, "Maybe it’d be faster if you could, you know--" Sadly, he had a standardized hand gesture for this, too. "And then come straight back down. What? It’s worked before."

"Ascension isn’t a, a, a set of stairs you can use to bypass a broken elevator!" Daniel protested.

"It was just a suggestion," Jack said with a shrug.

Daniel glared at him, and then unbent enough to say, "I don’t think it’ll work anyway. There’s something about snacking on brains that--I'm just not feeling very enlightened right now."

"Maybe if they were from a more enlightened group of animals," Jack said.

"Maybe if they were less rubbery," Daniel said. "I wonder if human brains are tastier and, uh, better-textured?"

At that point everyone started to look speculatively at Jack’s forehead again, so he said his farewells and wished them luck.