The Matchmaker, by Roxie (PG)

[figs_sg1_rec]

Rec Category: Humor
Pairing: none, at least not really
Category: humor, gen, team, Daniel Jackson, Janet Fraiser, Samantha Carter
Warning: minor Daniel whumping
Author on LJ: unknown
Author's Website: Other Places: Mulitfandom
Link:The Matchmaker

Why This Must Be Read:  "I want a geek."

Any fic that includes that wistful quote, spoken by a native girl from another planet, has got to be worth reading!

SG-1 gates to the "Matchmaker Planet" and are instantly accosted by eager women, hoping they've come to find wives. O'Neill uses an adroit Jackism to evade the question for himself and Sam, although Carter will probably be looking daggers at him for a while; but when Daniel isn't quite as fast off the mark, the enthusiastic girls drag him off to meet with Ranata the Matchmaker, leader of the people.

Daniel does, eventually, manage to explain that after being recently widowed, he really isn't interested in another mate at the moment. But while Ranata is convinced to change the topic of discussion to naquadah deposits, her helpers decide that if Daniel isn't interested in the women of PC3-279, the least they can do for him is help him find a proper match back on his home planet. Their amateur meddling doesn't work out exactly as they'd intended, though - in the classic phrase, wacky hijinks ensue.

With every estrogen-producing female in the SGC trying to get to Daniel, it's up to Jack and Teal'c to protect him. But even if he's hidden away in a locked room and guarded by SFs, is Daniel really safe from the determined efforts of Janet and Sam?

The final solution proves, while benign, to be nearly as embarrassing to Daniel as the problem itself. By the end of the story, things are more or less back to normal... Even if Daniel, in the absolutely perfect epilogue, doesn't quite realize it yet. And really, who can blame old Mrs. Lancaster for trying? :)

Daniel climbed up on the nearest bed and tossed the shirt in his hand to the foot. "Have you noticed anything weird since we got back from the planet?"

"Like what?"

"Odd behavior?" Daniel asked with an evocatively raised brow.

"Just yours," Jack replied flippantly.

"Jack, I’m serious."

"What happened?" Jack frowned as he tilted Daniel’s face up to examine the split lip.

"You know that new technical advisor? Anna Gordon?"

"The skinny one, right?"

Daniel nodded. "She kissed me in the elevator."

Jack blinked in astonishment. "For real? She must be like… sixty."

With an embarrassed sigh Daniel nodded again.

"And then what happened?" Jack prompted impatiently.

"Well, one minute I was introducing myself and the next she was checking my adenoids with her tongue."

"Well, if all that mouth breathing is any indication your adenoids are probably huge," Jack goaded.

"Jack!" Daniel squawked in exasperation. "Then she bit my lip!"

"Ouch. Why?"

"I don’t know, but even before that…"

"Doctor Jackson, I need to take your blood pressure," Captain Hess announced as she rolled the Dinamap next to the bed and unwound the BP cuff.

"Daniel, I’ve got to get up there," Jack said as he glanced at his watch. "As soon as you’re done here come to the briefing room. I want to hear all about it," he added earnestly.

"Don’t leave," Daniel blurted out as he eyed the nurse nervously.

Jack laughed. "I think you’re in good hands, Daniel," he assured and turned to go.