When Your Job Description…, by Madelyn (PG-13)

[figs_sg1_rec]

Rec Category: Humor

Pairing: none
Categories: humor, gen, Walter the Chevron Guy, Teal’c, crossover, AU
Warnings: shopping in the more adult aisles of Target
Author on LJ: svmadelyn
Author's Website: Medication For Sleep Deprivation
Link: When Your Job Description (You Announce Chevrons!) Is a Total Lie

Why This Must Be Read: While this hilarious fic is set in Martha Wilson’s marvelous Retrograde universe, you don’t have to be familiar with Retrograde to appreciate this fantastic story!

General O’Neill sends a hapless Walter on a grand shopping expedition on behalf of Atlantis. He covers all the aisles, from children’s underwear to Playstations to condoms. There’s glee over bargains, an attempted hi-jacking, and an embarrassment factor that is largely mitigated by Teal’c’s unflappable, looming presence at his side.

We get some great cameos by Jack and Daniel, but this fic is really all Walter’s, with a fantastic Teal’c along for the ride. And by the time the story ends, you’ll be laughing out loud at Madelyn’s talent for writing what ought to be a crack!fic, but isn’t – because everyone is perfectly in character.

"General O'Neill? Did you want me to get all of them?" Walter asked quietly into his cell phone.

"What's that? I can't hear you," O'Neill said.

"I said, sir, did you want me to get all of the condoms?" Walter dropped his voice again. "Including the edible ones?"

"What? Your cell; it's breaking up."

"Edible condoms, did you want me to get edible condoms," Walter hissed.

"Uh. Yeah, get everything that you see," O'Neill said, after coughing for a moment.

The other guy browsing the aisle was very carefully not looking at Walter, who was busily scooping everything in sight into the cart.

Yeah, it was going to be a long day.